Ballin in the windy city

I'm in Chicago right now. We rented out the ILLEST apartment I have ever been in. I will take pictures.

BE AFRAID

I really, really hate Rudolph Giuliani.
He is a sick person. He exploits horrors, he claims responsibility for other's triumphs, he is a hypocrite, he has no connection to humanity, to him poverty is a disease that can only be cured through decimation, he hates artists, he hates minorities, he set this city back socially twenty years. He filled the air with hostility between neighbors and hate between classes. He is an asshole.
I think about how horrible this last president has been. About the terrible things this country has done and how little we have gotten out of the 8 years.
Then I think about Giuliani as president. As hard as it is to believe, this man would be worst than the fool we have in office now. I guarantee you wars would wage and this nation would spiral to the dark ages.
This man turned New York City's Finest into pit bulls and that's something were still feeling today.
He took people off of welfare unless they worked like slaves, even if they were a credit away from a college degree.
This man denies that the volunteer workers at ground zero were never subjected to health threatening pollution. What he did with 9/11? Good god, don't even get me started. If he's gonna turn a tragedy into a cabaret at least do it with pazas. Watching him was like watching William Shatner rehearsing for a porno.
Jesus.
I hope with all my heart that this person never sets foot in the white house. If he does, I am moving. Where? Someplace warm.

Blogblock.

I"m sort of staring at a wall right now. Don't really have anything to say and the news was pretty boring today. Here, this will have to do:

BLAST YOU, INTERNET!

It's funny. A few years ago I often found myself tensing up and feeling short of breath when in shitty situations. I felt like doom was inexorable and thought that the wind's breeze was the proverbial breath of death gently tickling my nape. Some call them "Panic Attacks", I called them "Bug Outs". Whatever they were, they went away. I learned to stick my head between my legs as If I was attempting fellatio and thought about the beach. Problem solved.
UNTILL, of course, the assholes at Time Warner Cable ruined my life. Every few hours or so my Internet completely dies. So do the phones. Naturally, my entire family runs to me and I have to drop whatever I'm doing and fix it. Or try to. Whenever I see those lights flashing on my airport base, my blood grows thick and my heart starts racing a little too quickly.
Sticking my head between my legs and thinking about the beach doesn't really help.
Instead, I smoke a cigarette as I go out "to buy some milk" and sneak some whiskey in the coca-cola I bought because we don't actually need milk.
Today the Internet started working on every single computer except my own. I'm on some asshole's wireless Internet and it gets no reception anywhere except the coldest dustiest corner of my house.
Now, my computer has a sick sense of humor and likes to tell me that everything is sunshine and butterscotch when it ain't. That's why when I saw this image I had to take a picture and laugh.
I hope you appreciate it:

Sometimes, I hate Apple products.

p.s
If you haven't listened to my radio show you should. People seem to like it.

Kevin Gannon Radio

I am excited to announce that the first episode of the new Kevin Gannon radio show is FINALLY working. I hope.

Tune in and listen live right now! Just take a trip over to the sidebar
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and play that bitch.

Leave me comments if you like this or not. If enough people do I can make a Kevin Gannon hosted play list every month.
Now just sit back, relax and ride the sound waves into oblivion.

Things I always wanted...

...and never got.
Looking back at my childhood I had some cool shit. My folks were nice to me, people seemed to like me and I always had the new game consoles the week they came out. Now that doesn't seem like such a big deal, but back in the day to be the first person on your block with the new system (be it an NES, the N64 or Playstation 2) meant guaranteed cool points.
Still, there were some toys I yearned for but never got. I would beg relentlessly but always to no avail.
When watching television and the commercials came on, I would see the children playing with the object I wanted so terribly. I would see them smiling and giggling and practically inviting me into their blissful cathode world. All I needed was my parents to get me the ticket there. Unfortunately, the following are toys my Mother and Father never let me have. Toys I didn't even get to play with because my friends were all in the same dilemma. These toys represent my lost dreams...

1. Sock'em Boppers

A lot of people have the commercial's jingle memorized. I would say of those people, 80% of them have never touched a Sock'em Bopper in their life. I would also go as far to say that NO ONE ACTUALLY OWNED THESE FUCKING THINGS! I never met ONE person who did. Did you? Exactly.

2. Moon Shoes

Looking back at the commercial now I understand I would have been a tad underwhelmed with the Moon Shoes. Still, I can see myself having a lot of fun as a young boy convincing myself that I was jumping four feet higher than I actually was. I can also see my ankles snapping in half from this dangerous toy. Maybe it's best my parents didn't copp it for me...

3. Mr. Bucket

This puzzles me. I can find nothing wrong with this toy. It's happy, it promotes teamwork and it was only $20. I wanted it SO much and to make things worse, the commercial played ALL the time. Now why the fuck didn't my parents let me get this thing? There seems to be nothing wrong with it! Unless of course you take into account that the commercial says, and I quote: "The first to get their balls into Mr. Bucket wins, but look out! The balls will pop out of his mouth!" Maybe, just maybe, that had something to do with it.

4. Nickelodeon Sqand
I wish I could find the commercial, but for a while Nickelodeon made this shit that looked and felt like regular sand until it was submerged in water. Then it because a malleable silly putty like substance that could be shaped into great castles, horrid monsters or beautiful mermaids. When the Sqand was pulled out of the water *poof*, just like magic, it would be perfectly dry sand once again. Here is what it was like. This does not give it justice:


5. Tiger's Talkboy Tape Recorder

I don't have the strength to write about this. I just feel empty. I could have had so much fun...

6. Crossfire

My friend had this and I was so good at it. His sprayed the loser with water which made for an even more unnecessarily tense game, fueling even more hate into our young veins. One thing this commercial did not depict is the fact that a game lasted about an hour and it often took 20 minutes for either side to score a point.

I realize now that I have a void inside of me where theses toys should be. I think I'm going to buy the Moon Shoes and the Sock'em Boppers and go at a few rounds with my pals who didn't have these toys either.
I promise ill film it and put it up.
Also, if you feel bad you are more than welcome to buy me any of these things.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
As a Gannon family tradition, we celebrate thanksgiving on the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I don't know why, but it's what we do.
That always made for an interesting Thursday. I love Thanksgiving, but for me, Thanksgiving itself was never really on Thanksgiving. I get to watch the festivities on the television and read about it in the newspaper with a strangely detached attitude. It's actually very, very nice.
So, until my Thanksgiving rolls by I hope you have fun celebrating yours.
While you do, know I'm in Connecticut. Sipping on hot chocolate, reading a good book and listening to the soft tunes of Dr. Yo.
Enjoy.