Tuesday, January 8, 2008

I will only do this once.

I have never, ever, felt it necessary to talk about the fading star that is Britney Spears. Not because I find it boring but because I know it's over printed and talked about (for the wrong reasons) way too much and putting a post on a blog with BS's name slapped on it is only contributing to the problem. I actually find it very fascinating. The topic of celebrity break down is one that has always fascinated me. That might be why "Hollywood Babylon" is one of my favorite books of all time.
There have been so many Britneys. So many who actually had better stories behind them. My favorite being Fatty "Roscoe" Arbuckle who I won't even begin to elaborate on because if I do, this post will become an essay. Instead I will send you here.

Point being, from D.W Griffith and Judy Garland to Britney Spears, we as a society love to felate these people (figuratively, though the literal, too, applies) and then destroy them. I don't know why we do it, but we do. Often. It most definitely has something to do with our urge to kill people or at least break them down to a pile of shit. I mean, we are animals after all and no animal can truly lack envy. It's what kept us from smoking pot in caves all day.
Anyway, today I was reading (and it seems these days I have no choice over it) about Britney's latest fuck-up. This stuck out to me because I feel terribly sorry for one individual: Dr. Phil.

See, Dr. Phil has this huge episode of his show planned where he would talk to not only Britney but her entire (including the knocked up kid sis) family. On television they would solve all of Britney's problems. The nation would be cured and we could go back to worshiping their idol while looking around for a new one to destroy. Dr. Phil would be regarded as a hero, held on a high thrown, get a promotion and most likely venture into some other endeavour, maybe another show on Court TV helping all of America's favorite losers.
Imagine how great that would be? I mean for Dr. Phil.
Well, stop imagining.
Britney cancelled the show.


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