Thursday, December 10, 2009

Morning Motivation

I don't want to sound like a broken record but I'm going to anyway: I have a lot of work this week.

This country has a rich history of young men valiantly marching directly into the mouths of madness in the hopes of a greater good. During World War II there was D-Day. During the Civil Rights Movement, young men and women defied mob rule and sat non-violently at a "whites only" diner counter. During the American Revolution, Washington crossed the icy Delaware River with courageous elegance. During critique week, I had a big fucking to-do list. 

Today was the day to do it.

I'll break it down for you:

1. Drop off/pick up zines from printer
2. Go to loop, rent camera
3. Buy a few pounds of powdered cement (don't ask...)
4. Prep-order shipment of 50 buttons
5. Finishing touches on a short story

There was no room to slack off on this daunting day. I prepared myself for it last night and went over to my buddies house to ask for some artistic advice.

Long story short, I ended up crashing there. The night before last I slept for 15 hours and that really screwed me up. No matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get a single wink of sleep. Staring at my friend's ceiling, twiddling my thumbs, the night slowly inched onward. I knew I needed every minute of sleep I could get but I knew even better I wasn't going to get it. The moment sunlight hit the streets of Chicago, I packed my shit up and left. 6:00A.M.

IT'S SO COLD. I can't stop shivering and my hands are numbing up disturbingly fast. The wind is so strong at one point that I had to stop walking. The ground was slick with ice and putting all my weight on one foot risked me slamming my head onto the concrete. As I took this photo I was literally being pushed backwards.

I was tired. I was fucked. 

I knew I needed a big boost if I was going to get through the day on no sleep. I decided to go to Jewel Osco, stock up on a huge breakfast and promptly go home and cook it. I needed carbs, protein, caffeine and a little bit of sugar to keep myself going for the rest of the day. 

On the way to Jewel, I slipped in the parking lot and landed in a puddle. 

I, filthy, cold and wet, crawled into the supermarket. They had been open for twenty minutes and the place was completely empty. I can't tell you how strange it was strolling around the gigantic market, no elevator music playing, no people walking around pushing carts, just the sounds of my boots squeaking on the floor. 

It was very creepy. 

I got the hell out of there with my grub and ran home to start cooking. It was early and I felt like shit. I needed this bad. 

Standing over the gigantic meal on the stove, something came over me. I wasn't scared about working all day. I knew I would get it done. I knew the breakfast would work. Today was my fucking day. In fact, cooking that meal, I realized something. Today was going to be the best day of my life.

I'm not kidding, folks. I was 100% ready to take on the responsibilities I have as an artist, student and K-Dog with conviction and excitement. Because this should have been my worst day and I was going to rock it, it really was going to be the best day of my life. I couldn't believe it.

I sat down with my power meal and watched an episode of Law and Order: SVU like any other care-free day. When it was over I intended to take on the world. 

Breakfast of the Champion (me):
Three Sausages
A Shitload of Home Fries
Scrambled Eggs with Cheese and a Few Seasonings
One Five Hour Energy Shot
One Cup of Earl Grey

Good to go. 

I ate, I threw on my jacket and I walked out of the house. That's when it hit me. 

I was wearing my slippers. 

O.K, the power-food and energy drink didn't kick in yet. I went inside, put on my shoes and walked out again. 

That's when something else hit me and I threw up in the middle of the fucking street. 

Moral of this long, long story, folks?


I'm screwed....


Daniel said...

Jeez K dog.
I'm praying for is my Rabbi David Adelson.

emx said...

Stop with the "energy" drinks!
I too am praying for you, sent my message straight to the goddess herself.
You shall overcome.

Carlos Galarza said...

puddle part was hilarious. Kevin Gannon falling down outside is just a funny image. Hope you get it done dude. Just a few more weeks, which really sucks because i'm pretty much going home for good tomorrow.

And Emily... Energy shots are awesome.

kori waring said...

hah. too funny. i'm sorry that your pain is hilarious.

Please don't make me log in to my google account (ya boi, ESG) said...

I bet the supermarket owner was pissed when Cosco became a household name.

LudwigLongPlay said...

the puddle, nuff said

robbie said...

i think the real moral of the story is: dont drink a 5 hour energy shot with a huge ass meal