Billy...BILLY?

This is so fucked up. I can't believe I'm writing two posts about dead celebrities in two days (if I was a "Charlie's Angels" fan I would have written three - YEESH) but today I got a text message that disturbed me. 

It, honestly, seemed too absurd to be true so I wrote it off as a rumor. When I got home and did a quick google search I found out that what I didn't want to admit to myself was true. 

Billy Mays, infomercial guru and personal hero was found dead today. 

I refuse to accept that he is no longer with us. Forget Michael Jackson, this guy was my hero. I miss him and refuse to acknowledge that he has died. Perhaps that same un-budging stubbornness is why I believe that he is indeed still alive. 

You see, this all makes sense. Recently that website was put up that involves investing $10 to time travel. Since then celebrities have been croaking like flies. Maybe they are faking their deaths and instead traveling to the future. 

Maybe Billy is far ahead of our time learning about what he loves: revolutionary technologies and products. Maybe Billy Mays has been going back and forth to the future and ALL his products are from another time. 

I know he's alive. I just know it. 

I miss you already, Mr. Mays. 

If I go missing you know why...

A good friend of mine (and guest on the most recent radio show) Alexander Feldman may have changed my life by sharing an amazing link with me. 

A group of people have established something called "The Time Travel Fund" which, according to their tagline is "your ticket to the future!"

Click here to have yer' mind blown.

According to them, if I invest 10 dollars now they will let it sit in a bank and gain interest over what could potentially be thousands of years. If time travel becomes possible and affordable, money will be used to send someone back to the past, pick you up and rock your fucking world.

This has sparked a huge discussion between Carlos and I and we have come to a basic mathematical conclusion:

Potential Gain > Potential Loss

If I apply the law above, it is possible that in five minutes a beautiful future babe will pick me up and you will never see me again. 

If this thing aint' run by Bernie Madoff or any of his friends I might have a good shot at dunking a basketball in space (which I have always wanted to do).

Sayonara!