Oh, Mac...

Sometimes I think that my Macbook Pro is a dull, teenage stoner. Here's proof.

At what point, Macbook, will you look back at your past experiences and learn that sometimes the "unexpected" is actually the most dully obvious thing that could happen to you?

Ch-Ch-Ch-Sink!

This is the last time I will bring up Barack Obama Chia pet. I promise.

After about a week, he's still pretty bald. I'm disappointed with how much hair he has grown but still have faith in him:

While our president isn't doing too hot, my own secret experiment "Chia Cup" is doing really, really well:

You know what is growing faster, stronger and thicker than Chia Cup and Chia Obama put together? My sink.

That's right. I must have washed a few Chia seeds down the drain when I first got em'. Pretty stupid mistake if you ask me. I mean, the plant does best in damp, dark, confined places.

Every morning this monster has grown a little overnight, popping up searching for light. At first I was gonna' call the janitorial staff up here but then remembered I'm outta' here in a month. I guess I can leave it as a present for the poor fool who lives here after me. 

Seasonal DEADED

Remember that really up beat, happy post I made a few days ago basically saying "Listen, it's so beautiful here in Chicago. Spring has finally arrived and it's making me so happy"?

Well.

Looks like I spoke too soon. Thanks for being so hospitable, Chicago.

9 hours of sleep in 6 minutes.

I'm an odd sleeper. When I finally hit the sack I wake up probably three or four times a night. It's almost always because I was dreaming and my dream came to some sort of end. It sounds exhausting but it has no effect on my energy level the next day. I just wake up, sometimes laugh, smile, shudder or sigh and then immediately fall asleep again. No big deal. In fact, I like it.

The topic of dreams came up in one of my classes and I was shocked that a pretty high percentage of the room said they rarely dream and when they do, they don't remember it. I dream every fucking night and I always remember it. In fact, I'm sure I have told all of you, personally, about one of my long winded dreams that seem too surreal to be true.

I decided to take advantage of this and went to Radioshack and purchased myself one of those crappy little minicasette recorders. It has an automatic record feature so if it hears any sound it will start up all on it's own. I put it right next to my bed hoping to hear some sleep talking (which I did) but more importantly, so during these little moments when I wake up from my dream, I could just lean over and record them. It's been three days now and I already have DOPE records. I transcribed the first night for your listening pleasure. It's pretty amazing:

Note:

For some reason Youtube made the sound on the file really really faint. Unless you got headphones or ghettoblasters it probably won't work. I guess I gotta' make a higher res export. Goddamit.

Itchy and scratchy

One little secret you may not know about me is that I have some strange immune deficiency which results in red, bumpy, itchy hives. They come whenever my body temperature gets a little to hot to handle. That means stress, showers, sun and apparently even sleep leave me covered in tiny imperfections that remind myself that my insides aren't ticking right. 

It doesn't bother me that much. Rarely do they spread above the neck so unless I take my shirt off I'm safe from public scrutiny. I never take my shirt off so to most regular people I'm just a hiveless boy with an immune system of steel.

Recently they have been hitting me hard. I was stressed out about it but then a godsend occured. 

Remember the Barack Obama Chia Pet? Well, a few days ago I was changing his water and spilled a chia-seed/slime solution all over my DVDs. There was only one out of the case: "Freaks" by Todd Browning. I popped her in to assess whether or not I had to buy another copy. She worked fine and as predicted I ended up sitting on the edge of my bed, covered in hives watching the film (again) start to finish.

That's when it hit me. My hives are beautiful. I'd get into it but it's complicated.

It prompted me to start a new endeavour. Every day I pick one hive. Scan it. Draw it. From there I will have a collection of hopefully hundreds. What I do with them once I reach that point is unknown. Maybe temporary tattoos, maybe blow em up and put em' on a grid in order of color/date/shape. Who knows.

Here's a taste, starlets.

PARTY PART 2

I'm sure you are all absolutely thrilled to hear about this: the NEXT INSTALLATION OF THE KEVIN GANNON RADIO SHOW REUNION PARTY SPECIAL IS UP!

Did that cliff hanger leave you biting the tips of your fingers off? Well gnaw no more, because here she is!

As always, just click on the picture to the top right of the page.

BOOYAH.

Typical friday night dinner

Out here at SAIC me and buddies take Friday night as an opportunity to stay in, order food and catch up. I have been watching a lot of Maysles Brothers' films and I thought to myself "why not film us in our realist of raw moments?"

I was expecting for nothing to happen but having a camera running on this particular night was a blessing. What resulted from our munching was not just a fun film, but something that just might actually help thousands of people.

Another reason why the internet is awesome

The Internet rules. We have grown to accept that and put it behind us. Still, sometimes we forget exactly how large of a series of tubes it really is. Amazing little things slip right through our fingertips as we type in the name of familiar comfort sites like "facebook" and "kevingannon.blogspot.com"

Let me tell you about something, though, my internet faded starlet. Last week I got my totally fucking free McGruff The Crime Dog Gun Safety DVD in the mail and it was awesome. Where did I get it? 

The nets.

A while ago I got my Harley Davidson 2009 Babes and Bikes Calendar which is about to be tossed up on my wall for all to stare at, jaws dropped. How much did that set me back? Zilch, papi. How? 

The in-ets, baby.

So today I thought I would prove a point. To see exactly how much free shit I could get from the Internet within a half hour. It would be hard, but knew there were sites out there to help me on my journey. The clock started at 3:30.

3:35 - Free Cigar

Bingo. Free, hand rolled tobacco from some stupid site. Sure, I have to watch a video for the secret message at the end of it but whatever. I just got my free cigar. BING. 

3:40 - Ergonomic Screwdriver

An awesome screwdriver is now being sent to my house. For nothing. I had to take a pretty long test asking some hard questions like weather OSHA Compliances were more important at my workplace than Inventory Management but it's not too hard to make shit up. Especially if a screwdriver is on the line. SWEET.

3:54 - "Keeping it Rural" Bumper Sticker

This was was from a company that loans farmers money to start up their own little perfect menageries and I thought the sticker looked cool. Actually, I think it looks stupid but it's free so who fucking cares. SCHWING.

3:58 - "Hot Mom Driving" Magnet

There was so little time left before the clock ran out. I saw it, it had the least amount of questions needed and I bounced on it. I'm not to excited about this one but hey, it's free. YEAH!

There you have it folks. The internet is cool yet again:

It literally gives you shit for nothing.

All of these things should be arriving at my door in 3 to 6 weeks. Will gladly take a picture when it does as proof.

Ch-ch-ch-Barack Obama!

Today I picked something up in Walgreen's that I think must be shared with the world. I was tied between the Barack Obama Commemorative Plate (which apparently isn't available only on TV) and the Barack Obama Chia Pet.

It was a tough question. The last thing I need are more dirty dishes to do so I present to you my new pet:

It makes me wonder. What's next?

Spring is about to be sprung

As the dust settles from the last post I hope you have all enjoyed part one of my radio show installation. Part two is on it's way, expect it next week.

Now, things are really hectic here in Chicago. Not only is work piling up on my like crazy this week but it's finally starting to become really beautiful here. That means no more cold cheeks and numb fingertips after commutes. It also means time is flying like frigging crazy. I'm excited to be halfway done with my second semester. Not because I dislike SAIC but because I am excited to go back home and kick it with homies like I did this past weekend.

Also, check out how sexy the radio show organization is now. Booyah.

KEVIN GANNON RADIO PARTY SPECIAL

Remember that special thing for this very blog that came out of my short stint back home? Well, it's here now. I'm so very happy to announce the Kevin Gannon Radio Show Reunion Party Special: Part One.

For those of you who don't know, it's located to the right of this post with all the other radio shows. It's the top one. You might need to sign up for an imeem account but it's free, easy and worth it. I hope you listen, I hope you enjoy and I hope you are having a good journey.

I haven't forgot

Hello from New York! Through the hustle and bustle of being back home I haven't been updating at all which I think is fair.

But stay up, starlets, because last night me and six other people made something very very very special for this blog.

I'm excited.

Yay! Mediocrity!

Getting through high school was a bitch. It seemed that I was always predetermined to live in the land of C's (aka average, maybe a little below). Getting tests and other shit like that back always had a number on top ranging from 70 to 79. One higher, I celebrated. One less, I sulked. Anyway, after leaving that all behind me and going to real school I was happy to know that never again would I get stuck with those numbers. Or would I?

There is a nifty site called "Blogged" which is an online collection of user submitted blogs which are rated by a team of "expert editors". Well, I put this one up in hopes it would get me famous so I don't have to work at a real job and the score came back. Yeesh.

I guess this would be one of those sulking days. It's actually higher than I anticipated. I like "good". "Good" is a good thing. It's definitely not "bad", right? It's the gateway adjective to others like "great" and "excellent" which is a good place to be. Excellent.
In other news, I'm returning to New York for the weekend which should be fun.

Out with the old...

I had to get a new passport because my old one expired and it just arrived in the mail today. After looking at it I noticed something when comparing it to my old one. Well, if you can't tell, I just look hilariously unhappy now and beaming as a child.

Something tells me I'm going to get stopped every time I fly...

Annoying internet thing #251

My hands are tied here.

Dull weekend

Almost nothing at all has happened this weekend. I'm trying to get back on the "post-a-day" band wagaon and figured this was better than none at all.

Enjoy that. 

Retail therapy

This week something upsetting happened to me and I was pretty blue about it all. The internet must have known something because she tossed a link into my lap. For a few hours on Amazon.com, the entire series of Seinfeld was on sale for ridiculously cheap. Let me explain something.

There are two DVD box sets I have always wanted to own. The one just mentioned and the Twilight Zone. Both have always been enormously expensive. I see them in stores everywhere and they always torture me. 

Anyway, I got one and have been watching non-stop. It has, slowly, been making me feel much better. In a strange way as well, though, it makes me miss New York more than usual. I guess god giveth and taketh away.

UPDATE:

The first disc of season 2 is stuck in my fucking laptop. So much for happy endings.

How to make art

Step 1:

Stop paying attention in a 6 hour class. Find a pen and draw on table because brown paper is free.

Step 2:

After breaking for lunch, find an exacto knife and quietly make tiny incisions as not to interrupt the speaker.

Step 3:

Hang on wall and presto. You are famous.

Monster cake of pan

Out here in Chicago where I have a nice little kitchen instead of a meal plan, I hold my own pretty well. Oddly enough, however, my diet is made up of basically four things. In order of most eaten to least, it goes Pancakes, Hamburgers, Peanut butter sandwiches and mashed potatoes. All of these come out of a box and involve minimal cooking which I have completely perfected. 

Though my processes are flawless, I was searching the web for pancake cooking methods to perhaps expand my horizon on the artform. This video came up from the bellies of YouTube and it was the first and last thing I clicked. 

I will never, ever trump this.

Doppelgänger

I found this little doohickey on the internet a few days ago that analyzes your face and then searches it's massive celebrity database to find the closest matches. In other words, it tells you what famous fool you look like and it's free so I did it.

The results were, well, less than satisfying.

Seven out of eight are women. Half of those are asian. The only male that came up looks like an english junky. Damn. That's harsh stuff.

I was so upset over this I decided to take matters into my own hands. I don't have the money for facial reconstruction so instead I resorted to highly advanced computing technology to re-render the images into something more ideal and realistic:

Ah, that's better.

My great new band!

I never, ever, ever partake in silly Internet chain mails or surveys. Especially on Facebook. Why? Because I'm too good for them. At least I thought I was until earlier today.

I know. I know. Don't judge me just yet. I'm already deeply ashamed and don't need your disapproval. This is something I have to live with, dammit.

The way it works is one opens up Wikipedia and clicks on the "random" page button. That, my starlets, is now the name of your awesome band.

Second, the person opens up this quotation page and scrolls to the bottom. Write down the last five words of whatever the last quote is. This is the name of your ground breaking album. How hardcore.

Thirdly, you open up flicker and click on the interesting photos of the last seven weeks (or someshit like that) and the third picture is your album cover.

Work some magic in Photoshop and there you have it. Your new hit band. Feels good right? Enjoy the high until you realize this does not exist and you are just a regular person.

Here's mine. We are called ESHKOL. Wiki it, baby.


If you make one, post the link the comments section. Maybe we can start a record store.

VIdeo games

Alright. Everyone knows I spend a great deal of my time huddled in the Galarza nest where it's warm and cuddly. There, Carlos and I play our fair share of video games and are not afraid to admit it. Call us geeks or nerds, we consider it an art form and a new way of storytelling that has evolved rapidly in a short period of time. Alongside film and Stella Artois, it may be our favorite means of escapism.

Now. All that being said, today my copy of Killzone 2 arrived from the boys over at Amazon. I popped her into my console and promptly had my mind completely blown away, pecked up and eaten by mutant terradactyls which then vomited into their baby dinosaur's mouths.

It's a crazy game.

After a few hours, though, something strange started happening. My pulse was racing and I felt anxious. What's going on? I was cold. Hypersensitive. Long after putting the game down I was making a sandwich and had a wartime flashback when I heard the microwave beep. It seems I was suffering a mild case of post traumatic stress disorder. And that's when it hit me.


Video games have become totally awesome.

Too awesome.

I can't wait till my kids have heart attacks playing Pokemon 12.