Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The Weed Smokers

You don't need to hear it from me. Times have been tough. The Kevin Gannon estate isn't immune to this shitty economy and recently things over here have been a little more humble than usual.

I have learned something pretty crucial this summer. It's a basic principle of capitalism and rather than keep this secret to myself and make millions I choose to share it with the ones I love (that's you, Starlets) so they too can become successful no matter what the economy is like. Here it is:

When an individual necessitates a regular,
fixed amount of money every week to live
it is critical that he/she finds a job.

Booyah. It's that simple people. I have come to realize and accept this bullshit puritan work ethic and I too am now a working man. 

Carlos Galarza and I have founded a new company. We are called The Weed Smokers. What do we do? We get down on our hands and knees and rip those pesky weeds that take over your Connecticut garden. We also mulch the place too. All for $10 an hour.

Our first day on the Job was yesterday and boy was it fun. First off, let me show you how serious of a fucking problem weeds can be:

Yes, people. That huge thing I'm holding that has uprooted a yard of dirt is a weed. The same type of weed that Carlos is holding. See what happens when you let them run rampant? See why you need to call us to smoke em' out?

Here is Carlos thinking about nothing but how much he truly loves weeding. Honestly, it's why we do it. It's a passion.

At the end of the day, we ended up with quite a large bit of shrubbery. Here is Carlos after throwing in one of two boxes of weeds we ripped out of the earth with our bare hands:

If you are wondering how this whole "work in exchange of money" thing functions, allow me to put it into perspective for you. Diagram A depicts how the above pictured weeds directly translate into cash money, yo. Diagram B shows how the same said money can be exchanged into an entirely different, unrelated good.

Diagram A:

Diagram B:

Simple economics, people.

Got a weedy garden? Let us know. We will smoke em' out.


Glen said...

Hmm, can your mom call my mom and explain this economic theory because my mom is still under the impression that manual labor performed around her house is done for the good of the people. Friggen Pinko.

Carlos Galarza said...

You guys that was a fucking weed. Not a normal plant. Grew to that size without help from anyone. Its actually kind of inspirational.