Sunday, November 22, 2009

I Still Can't Shake the Taste

Yesterday I got home from class, sat by the fireplace and got ready to watch some Law and Order: SVU. As I had the remote in my hand I thought to myself "Don't I have something to do?"

I stared at the blank television screen for a long while. I racked my mind but couldn't think of anything. I shrugged it off figuring it was just "one of those days" and dove into the world of the dedicated detectives who investigate vicious felonies. 

A few hours later I hit the sack. That's when a realization hit me harder: I had to take some photos for my midterm next week. 


Point is, tonight I have a butt load of work to do. I needed a college approved boost of some sort so I took a stroll to the drug store.

Monster Energy Drink. Sure, that shit works. Everyone drinks it, I have had it before and ran up the walls while writing twelve page papers. Perfect. Too bad it tastes like shit. At least, I thought it tasted like shit. Then I saw the new "Mean Bean Mocha" energy drink. That's more like it.

Paid my three dollars, took this baby home, cracked her open and took a sip. HOLY SHIT.

Of all the commercial products I have ever consumed in my entire life, this is the absolute worst that has touched my taste buds. It is so horrible, so wretched, that I cannot find the words to describe the misery induced after swallowing a gulp of such trash.

The taste was so bad, in fact, that it was worth stopping everything I was doing to get this message out to you. I insist, go to the store and buy a can of this. I want you to experience the horrors that until now I didn't know could exist in the back of a deli.

Jesus. I'm going to vomit.


Daniel said...

There are few things that make me smile as much as I do when reading these kinds of stories. I hope ya didn't vomit.

LudwigLongPlay said...

i think ill have it tomorrow morning.

Ezra Salzman-Gubbay said...

When I saw the picture I got so excited, thinking "Monster usually tastes like shit, but judging by the packaging this has got to be good."
Surprises seem to be a welcome outcome of scrolling as you read.

daniel said...

i just showed this to ben. he crackeedddd up