I'm getting old

Pushing twenty years on this earth, my fast paced lifestyle is beginning to catch up to me. Father time has opened up my records and declared that I have been in my prime far too long. He has wrought a sinister plan for me to partake in, one that every man and woman too must eventually face. He has laid a road for me to walk down (or, eventually, hobble down) and it says "AGE...NO EXIT"

I'm getting old, folks. The grim reaper isn't looming or anything but I have noticed a few things that have been happening to me and when they do I say to myself "it's happening". What's scary is it is going to continue happening for a very long while. 

You think I'm crazy? I think not. I think I'm observational. Take the following points as proof:

1. My Bladder is That of an Old Man's

Most old people I know frequently make pit stops to the restroom. I never understood why they have to piss so much. For a long while I thought most of the world over forty had secret drinking problems. Now, more realistically, I can safely say it is their own bladders giving way. Folks, when I'm in class I expect to drop by the little boys room at least three times before the day is up. That's super annoying for me considering public restrooms are the bane of my existence, but that's going to be saved for another post.

2. Sleep. Sleep. Sleep.

I'm sleepy, goddamnit! I remember back in the day when I was a young lad I could easily stay up until 5 working, take a two hour power nap, wake up and then take on the world. Two hours of sleep now? Forget it. Six? HA! I need at least seven to be a functioning human being. It's sad.

3. Taste.

In recent weeks I have found myself eating greens during lunch. I'm not referring to Jolly Ranchers, I'm talking straight up greens composed of whatever it is the earth spits up when it's in a good mood. I have gone my entire life hating salad and all things that mildly resembled it. Somehow after my taste buds have begun to atrophy I get hungry for a salad. Can you believe that? Pathetic. What's next, Ensure and jello?

4. Art

This one is a doozey. If you were to come up to me three years ago and say "Kevin what sort of artists do you like?" I would have told you Jeff Koons, Damien Hirst, Joe Coleman, Bruce Nauman and other loonies raking in that contemporary cheddar. I wouldn't be caught dead in any museum that didn't have "Modern" in it's name and I hated painting. Now? Jacques-Louis David, Edward Hopper, Grant Wood and sometimes, dare I say it, Jean Baptiste Chardin. Still life? How fucking boring.

5. Attitude

When I see a bunch of kids sitting around doing nothing I think to myself "Look at those fucking hooligans, sitting around doing nothing. They don't know what life is like. They don't know what they need to be getting ready for. I worry for the future of this country..." which is silly, because they are usually a year younger than me and I'm usually sitting around doing nothing. I wonder if they are looking at me thinking: "Look at that old, bastard. He suxx :p lolz"

Here is where I ask the question to make myself feel better. What about you people? Are you getting older? Do you feel like the next stop is a lazy boy by the fire place, glass of whiskey in hand, loyal dog keeping your feet warm and an empty shotgun by your side to scare punks off of your porch? If so, please let me know.