Thursday, August 6, 2009


Here's a scientific fact: I eat more pancakes than you. 

No, don't bother. There is no use debating. There's nothing I love more than stuffing those little circles of buttery fluffiness down my throat so they can live in my arteries forever. At school people who came over usually left with a full stomach and sticky syrup fingers. Everyone has their "thing" and pancakes are my fucking "thing", baby. The best part? It's mutual.

Today I was reading Gizmodo and I saw something that will change my life. A fully automated pancake machine (I love pancakes, remember?) and it only costs $3,000.

This baby cranks out jesuscakes like a mini assembly line of breakfast fairies who want nothing but to keep you satisfied. I could see it now: fill with a copious amount of batter, go to class, come back 6 hours later and have 400 pancakes to eat. Whatever is left over can be used as a mattress.

God I want this thing.


LudwigLongPlay said...

i really dig how you just seem to be hugging these massive stacks of pancakes.

Carlos Galarza said...

What if your automated pancake maker becomes too smart for your own good and starts using pancakes as weapons. You can't let that type of dangerous technology into your home.

kathy said...

kevin, have you seen that pancake batter in a can at the grocery store? it's like in a whip cream can except it's totally pancake batter. i actually tried it out with my friend once, i don't think they're fluffy enough to be acceptable...